27 voices and none of em like you

Beautiful can be ugly...intellectual aggravation...feels like I'm trapped in a game of tether ball...on one side: relationship, fulfilment and happiness..on thee other: solitude, confinement, anger and loneliness; guess which side is winning

I want to silence these voices and human emotions, but more often than not do I find myself out of control..do you like me past my exterior or are you intrigued by thee thoughts of thee feel of my interior??

When you see me..do you see ME, or do you see thee me that I've allowed you to see..ritualistically and meticulously i give you thee sides you undoubtedly requested..even though its frequently unasked....your eyes tell and smile tell on you..your body language was in on it too...

If you were given thee opportunity to sit down and capture every angle of me..you would see that beautiful can be ugly...

Scattered thoughts

Constant Complaint .....On Off, In Out
Painstaking Moments .....Up down, Back forth
Thoughts Incomplete .....When is enough, enough
Lessons Unlearned ..... Should I be worried that I want more
Have I received all I need out of a life I didn't request??
Left Right .....I bow my head,
not for the reasons most may think.....
I'm exhausted

Ponder

The existence of me diminishes

until your wants outweigh your lust

Never knew I could disgust

Someone I use to love so much

It seems like just yesterday

you were trembling from my touch

How could you ignore

the one YOU sought after

I released myself to you

Realization, remain a bachelor

Harsh realities

I would rather leave to fantasy

I guess this means that's it

I don't think I will ever get use to thee feeling of Quit

Would I

Would I be upset

If a wave of violence swept this earth, leaving behind nothing but carnage and the signs of your "God" reaching "its" limit
If evil crept into my house through the garage door and erased the memories and existence of my family
If tomorrow there were no more images of today to create a yesterday
If the sounds of creation were no longer bouncing off my ear drums
If joblessness and homelessness happened simultaneously and I was forced to become dependant upon those I dislike the most
If all relevance to me was no more and those I knew before developed amnesia.

Would I be upset